Monday, April 11, 2011

Conan The Adventurer, Episode 3

From Hyborean Apocrypha

Episode 3, Lair of the Beastmen

We find Conan and his merry men, Zzeben, Vulkar and Otli are still following the the directions of the Sword of Atlantis. It's been leading them toward the mountains for days, some one is in trouble (Whats that Lassy? Little Timmy is down the well?!). There is plenty of bickering among the troops, a cute reference to Lord of the Rings "Why do we have to go over the mountain? why can't we just go around!" from the Dwarf Otli. Vulkar informs Conan that Otli is simply afraid of the legends of the beastmen.. and no more has finished relaying the tale than the band is beset by some sketchy looking guys in party store helmets and are being forced off their path, So in lieu of the road, Conan leaves the party to shelter in a cave while he tries to find another path over the mountain.

Zzeben and Conan set off on their climb, before long, they find a cave and go in. Inside is a woman who beckons to Conan but before he can go to her, a horde of beastmen attacks him. Zzeben manages to escape and go back and get Vulkar, they leave Otli behind in case Conan returns. Which is unlikely to happen as some beastmen (Orcs) have him taken prisoner and trussed up. The two who are tasked with keeping tabs on him remark how strong and manly he looks.. and that perhaps the outside world isn't as they've been told. But lament how they will never know, as Hissar Zhul has deemed them unworthy of leaving their lair.

Vulkar and Zzeben return to the site of the ambush, and retrieve Conan's sword. They presume from this that Conan is dead, and return to Otli to tell him the news. Conan is now a slave of the beastmen, made to perform manual labour until he dies. He attempts to stir the other slaves to rebel, but they alas are too indoctrinated to listen. He however vows to escape. An escape would not come too soon, as Hissar Zhul is being informed of his plight and is making plans to deal with Conan, but like any self assured dark lord, is at the moment content to watch Conan waste away in the slave mines.

Conan's first attempt at escape is thwarted by the other slaves, so he will have to try again. In the meanwhile he learns that Hissar Zhul is having the beastmen and their slaves mine a special ore, from which they are building magical weapons to arm the beastmen armies so that they might conquer the world. After learning this, Conan is found out by the beastmen and escapes down another tunnel. He's equipped with only a small knife when he is beset upon by a huge beast.

Meanwhile, Otli who dosen't believe Conan is dead and sets off to find him on his own. He's taken the sword of Atlantis with him, and after a few adventurers of his own manages to find Conan in the midst of battling the rancor like animal. He throws him the Sword and Conan uses it to slay the beast, the two adventurers then spur the slaves to rebellion and escape back to the surface and return to where Otli left Zzben and Volkar sleeping. The party reunited, they set off once more on their adventures.


David J. West said...

How I wish we had just been given an adaption of THE FLAME KNIFE instead-oh well.

The woman Arali, is Jodi Russell, wife of Air Supply's Graham Russell.

I like her more than Air Supply.

Lagomorph Rex said...

Ugh, Air Supply? Really? Ugh.

It's interesting as theres quite a lot going on in this Episode.. it's got one bit, when Otli asks if they can just go around, that I swear must be a reference to the Kharadaras Crossing of Fellowship of the Ring.. And Otli setting off into the cave alone is so Hobbit Like.. even the way he talks to himself is like Bilbo.. Not to mention the Homage to the Rancor..

David J. West said...

In so many ways Conan the Adventurer is truly terrible-but why did I buy it? and why do I keep it? (the wife asks)
Because-like Destroyer-it is a safe, albeit flawed version of Conan, that I can share with my kids (3,4 & 6)-they love it, and I will share the proper Conan with them soon enough.

Lagomorph Rex said...

oh absolutely, I imagine with kids.. that Adventurer, Hercules the Legendary Journeys.. all those sorts of things that are pressed into a G or PG setting.. endlessly entertaining.. I know I certainly found them to be when I was a kid.