Chapters 22-26
Several hours later, Conan awakens from his subterranean rendezvous with Chuntha.. collecting his clothes and trying to be as silent as possible, contemplating how to get past the worms which are guarding her chamber door. He decides to bluff his way past by speaking a little Hyperborean, His ruse works on the simple creatures and he makes good his escape. Running into Wikkel and Deek on his way out, they approach him about an alliance.
Meanwhile Katamay Rey is interrogating Elashi, Lalo offers up information to prevent the torture of the girl, It just happens to be false information. Katamey leaves off to go and ascertain the veracity of lalo's information, giving a brief respite to our captured heroes. Shortly after his departure Elashi manages an escape, and begins to rummage through Rey's belongings looking for some implement with which to free the others.
Chuntha awakens to find her new toy gone, dispatching the worms which fell for his earlier bluff for their incompetence (only worms after all.. geeze) she sets off to find Conan. While this is happening, Rey is still about his fact finding, and Wikkel and Deek are explaining their plan to Conan for the dispatch of the two sorceress loons rampaging around. A series of coincidences occurs which maneuvers the wizard and witch to their unique demises and the heroes along with Wikkel and Deek ponder the meaning of all this. The four humans then leave the cave, and don't look back.
Crom, I need a stiff drink.
Location - Near the Border between Corinthia, Brythunia and Zamora, and a massive underground cavern complex.
Characters - Conan, Elashi, Lalo, Harskeel, Katamay Rey The Wizard, Wikkel The Cyclops, Chuntha The witch, Deek The Worm, Tull the hobo,
Languages Known - Cimmerian, Aesir, Brythunian, Zamoran, Hyperborean
Review -
I cannot believe I'm saying this only five stories in, but I'm having doubts about my ability to complete my proffered mission on this blog.. this book is bad.. really bad.. and I'm having a really hard time reading it.. Steve Perry should be ashamed of himself for having cashed the check for it.. and whoever the editor was, they should be ashamed for having let it slip across their desk at Tor.
I really hope if I have any readers out there you realize what I sacrificed to bring this review to you.. the idea I've got more Steve perry books to read in this chronology fills be with dread and loathing beyond imagining.. this is one of the worst books I have ever read and cannot even imagine how they could get worse... but I'm sure Mr. Perry will figure out how. It's amazing this is the same guy who wrote for The Real Ghostbusters and Batman the Animated Series..
The whole book is filled with bizarre stuff, beyond the Fishboat.. theirs the Harskeel.. and Lalo the cursed.. Sexual Plants, talking worms, spiders and bats.. a cavern society of Cyclopses... all of this makes the much maligned Satyrs in "Conan the Liberator" seem downright normal.
Though it is interesting that my way of thinking in regards to the Necromancer in Conan The Defiant being awfully similar to the Witch queen in Legions of the Dead. With Katamey and Chunthus minions speaking Hyperborean, its obvious that in Steve Perry's mind the taint of Hyperborea stretches a considerable distance down the Mountainous regions which separate the kingdoms of the north east. The White worms are also apparently a recurring group of species from the north as well, perhaps related to the giant White worm from Clark Ashton Smiths Hyperborean story "The Coming of the White Worm". Though all of thats only my speculation of course. The Steve Perry books I've read so far make up the first two in a Quadrilogy which fills in the gap between Conan's escape from Slavery to his time as a thief in Zamora. It's really a shame that they are so bad. Perry has introduced a huge number of Sapient species into the Conan Mythos which REH never even hinted at, and with the rate that all these various animals can talk it is beginning to feel a lot like a Disney movie. Between the Stith in "Conan the Defiant", the White Worms, The Cyclopses, The Blood Bats, the Spiders, The Sexual plants.. That makes six species apart from Man which are capable of independent thought and critical thinking skills. This whole thing seems to be really out of place in Hyborea.
All of this book also further negates the possibility of "Conan the Hunter" actually taking place during this time period. There is absolutely no room for it to take place between Defiant and Indomitable.
I can't even rate this one with a star and be honest.
One slight bit of good news is, only two more of these to get through and I get a brief glimpse of quality with one of my favorite REH tales.. I'm sure it will read all the better when compared to this..
Up Next Conan the Free-Lance by Steve Perry *Shudders*
Showing posts with label Conan the Indomitable. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Conan the Indomitable. Show all posts
Monday, May 17, 2010
Sunday, May 16, 2010
5. Tor Conan #20, Conan the Indomitable part 6
Chapters 17-21
Talking Bats, Talking Worms, Talking Spiders and Hermaphroditic bandit Leaders.. not to mention an evil dark lord or two all stand between Conan and the Witches Chamber full of Gems. Conan's Plan was Simple, and I see no reason to blather on about it. Naturally Elashi has her doubts, but whats a snarky shrew character for except to harp about stuff the Man does.. Conan takes a moment to remind the reader, of the Giant Fish.. The Dreaded Fishboat of my nightmares.. which only was finally dispatched 20 pages previously.. obviously Steve Perry had ideas on turning Conan the Indomitable into a Multi-Tome Epic.. but then thought better of it and abridged it heavily.. Part of me is still wondering what exactly Lalo has been doing this whole time, Part of me thinks there is a story But thus far we have been spared hearing it.
Though with typical brevity, the group slashes their way through the denizens of the underground caverns and finds the Witches Trove, Several large worms tree Conan and Tull, but instead of attacking ask Conan to Come down.. He dosen't but instead showers them with boulders, crushing two of them. It is very interesting they speak a variation of the Language of the Hyperboreans. It makes sense even that Conan can speak it, what with having been a slave in Hyperborea, It yet again shows how much Perry drew from DeCamp and Carter's "Legion of the Dead" and "The thing in the Crypt". Why is it that Pastiche writers seem to build on other pastiche writers instead of on the original author?
After pilfering some jewels and beating an escape just as Wikkel and Deek show up to inspect the dead worms. Strange voices begin to haunt Conan as they go through the tunnels, apparently converting his own arm chair psychoanalysis of his companions into aural hallucinations. But upon reflection this made no sense to Conan. You are not alone my friend, as it makes no sense to me either.
The Pot boils over, The Harskeel and the Bats catch up to the Barbarian crew. A terrible fight, Conan looks sure to be slain, the harskeel begins to chant the spell which combined with Conan's blood will surely make one, two again. But just as they have achieved their goal, they run afoul of Katamay Rey.. and wind up as stinking puddles of ooze.
Conan Recovers from the minor blood loss, but begins to hear the voices again.. then he sees her.. Chuntha the Witch.. enchanting him to be her lover, never mind her last one didn't even survive and Hour. While he is enthralled to the Witch, Tull, Lalo and Elashi run into Katamay Rey. He seems to recognize Lalo from some where, and insinuates that he has a Brother Mombaya Rey with a penchant for curses like the one lalo Suffers from. Things do not bode well for our Heroes.
Argh.
Talking Bats, Talking Worms, Talking Spiders and Hermaphroditic bandit Leaders.. not to mention an evil dark lord or two all stand between Conan and the Witches Chamber full of Gems. Conan's Plan was Simple, and I see no reason to blather on about it. Naturally Elashi has her doubts, but whats a snarky shrew character for except to harp about stuff the Man does.. Conan takes a moment to remind the reader, of the Giant Fish.. The Dreaded Fishboat of my nightmares.. which only was finally dispatched 20 pages previously.. obviously Steve Perry had ideas on turning Conan the Indomitable into a Multi-Tome Epic.. but then thought better of it and abridged it heavily.. Part of me is still wondering what exactly Lalo has been doing this whole time, Part of me thinks there is a story But thus far we have been spared hearing it.
Though with typical brevity, the group slashes their way through the denizens of the underground caverns and finds the Witches Trove, Several large worms tree Conan and Tull, but instead of attacking ask Conan to Come down.. He dosen't but instead showers them with boulders, crushing two of them. It is very interesting they speak a variation of the Language of the Hyperboreans. It makes sense even that Conan can speak it, what with having been a slave in Hyperborea, It yet again shows how much Perry drew from DeCamp and Carter's "Legion of the Dead" and "The thing in the Crypt". Why is it that Pastiche writers seem to build on other pastiche writers instead of on the original author?
After pilfering some jewels and beating an escape just as Wikkel and Deek show up to inspect the dead worms. Strange voices begin to haunt Conan as they go through the tunnels, apparently converting his own arm chair psychoanalysis of his companions into aural hallucinations. But upon reflection this made no sense to Conan. You are not alone my friend, as it makes no sense to me either.
The Pot boils over, The Harskeel and the Bats catch up to the Barbarian crew. A terrible fight, Conan looks sure to be slain, the harskeel begins to chant the spell which combined with Conan's blood will surely make one, two again. But just as they have achieved their goal, they run afoul of Katamay Rey.. and wind up as stinking puddles of ooze.
Conan Recovers from the minor blood loss, but begins to hear the voices again.. then he sees her.. Chuntha the Witch.. enchanting him to be her lover, never mind her last one didn't even survive and Hour. While he is enthralled to the Witch, Tull, Lalo and Elashi run into Katamay Rey. He seems to recognize Lalo from some where, and insinuates that he has a Brother Mombaya Rey with a penchant for curses like the one lalo Suffers from. Things do not bode well for our Heroes.
Argh.
Friday, May 14, 2010
5. Tor Conan #20, Conan the Indomitable part 5
Chapters 13-16
Wikkel and Deek are still trying to find a way out of the cave while Conan and Elashi and Tull are attacked by the Harskeel's goons and it's giant bat allies. This fight is not going to plan so the Harskeel resorts to sorcery, throwing what it thinks is a flash vial at Conan to blind him. The Harskeel throws the wrong vial and creates an over all aura of darkness rather than only incapacitating Conan.
The Adventurers run past the harskeel down the tunnel, The Cyclops and Worm find they are stuck in another dead end and return the way they came, reaching the entrance of their tunnel just as Katamay Rey is coming ashore on their side of the sunless sea. The two comiserate together how this bodes ill for both. When suddenly the three wanderers burst out of the tunnel directly in front of Katamay Rey. They are captured, and this is observed by the latecomer to the party, Chuntha the Witch.
The Adventurers Captured, the Cyclops and Worm consider their options, both are failures and thus unable to return to their respective masters. due to an unlikely set of coincidences the Trio manage to escape and leave the Wizard, Witch and Bandit Leader once again angry and confused. They run into the water where their is a conviently placed fog bank.. and who should they run into but Lalo the cursed minstrel who hasn't been heard of since Chapter 2.
The Burgeoning group of explorers begin planning how to escape from the fecundity of villians chasing them. Wikkel and Deek have resolved to sow a revolt composed of the joint Cyclops and Worm forces against the various villians in the underground cave network. Katamey Rey is left wondering what hand Chuntha had in his loss of the the prisoners, Chunthu is deciding how to further her own plans and the Harskeel is left wondering where his moronic Bat allies have buggered off to.
The explorers set off to lay seige to the Witches quarters and hopefully pocket a few gems. Meanwhile the Worm and Cyclops are gathering allies for their self liberation, and the blasted bats have taken their sweet time returning. Chuntha sets off in her worm-ship and dispatches a giant hornet to scout the tunnels looking for her prey.
Argh.
Wikkel and Deek are still trying to find a way out of the cave while Conan and Elashi and Tull are attacked by the Harskeel's goons and it's giant bat allies. This fight is not going to plan so the Harskeel resorts to sorcery, throwing what it thinks is a flash vial at Conan to blind him. The Harskeel throws the wrong vial and creates an over all aura of darkness rather than only incapacitating Conan.
The Adventurers run past the harskeel down the tunnel, The Cyclops and Worm find they are stuck in another dead end and return the way they came, reaching the entrance of their tunnel just as Katamay Rey is coming ashore on their side of the sunless sea. The two comiserate together how this bodes ill for both. When suddenly the three wanderers burst out of the tunnel directly in front of Katamay Rey. They are captured, and this is observed by the latecomer to the party, Chuntha the Witch.
The Adventurers Captured, the Cyclops and Worm consider their options, both are failures and thus unable to return to their respective masters. due to an unlikely set of coincidences the Trio manage to escape and leave the Wizard, Witch and Bandit Leader once again angry and confused. They run into the water where their is a conviently placed fog bank.. and who should they run into but Lalo the cursed minstrel who hasn't been heard of since Chapter 2.
The Burgeoning group of explorers begin planning how to escape from the fecundity of villians chasing them. Wikkel and Deek have resolved to sow a revolt composed of the joint Cyclops and Worm forces against the various villians in the underground cave network. Katamey Rey is left wondering what hand Chuntha had in his loss of the the prisoners, Chunthu is deciding how to further her own plans and the Harskeel is left wondering where his moronic Bat allies have buggered off to.
The explorers set off to lay seige to the Witches quarters and hopefully pocket a few gems. Meanwhile the Worm and Cyclops are gathering allies for their self liberation, and the blasted bats have taken their sweet time returning. Chuntha sets off in her worm-ship and dispatches a giant hornet to scout the tunnels looking for her prey.
Argh.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
5. Tor Conan #20, Conan the Indomitable part 4
Part 4. Chapters 9 - 12
Our band of adventurers are still floating in their fishboat on the underground sea, not really doing much.. so we are treated to a "meanwhile" with a lot of discussion between Deek and Wikkel about their various concerns. Harskeel and Sorcerer and Witch all continue their own paths after the heroes with some really strange introspection..
Wikkel and Deek build themselves a boat and set out on the underground sea, the Harskeel's bandits are still at war with the cave bats, Conan, Elashi and Tull are heading down a river which branches off from the sea.
The Harskeel has now bribed the bats to be its minions, our adventurers abandon their fishboat to continue on shore, and Chuntha and Rey have now found their way to different parts of the sunless sea.
Only shortly on shore, Wikkel and Deek catch up to the adventurers, and the first of the Harkseels bat scouts reports they are just around the bend, everyone seems to be congregating at the same time. And on top of all that a killer plant tries to lure Conan in with the promise of easy sex.
Argh.
Our band of adventurers are still floating in their fishboat on the underground sea, not really doing much.. so we are treated to a "meanwhile" with a lot of discussion between Deek and Wikkel about their various concerns. Harskeel and Sorcerer and Witch all continue their own paths after the heroes with some really strange introspection..
Wikkel and Deek build themselves a boat and set out on the underground sea, the Harskeel's bandits are still at war with the cave bats, Conan, Elashi and Tull are heading down a river which branches off from the sea.
The Harskeel has now bribed the bats to be its minions, our adventurers abandon their fishboat to continue on shore, and Chuntha and Rey have now found their way to different parts of the sunless sea.
Only shortly on shore, Wikkel and Deek catch up to the adventurers, and the first of the Harkseels bat scouts reports they are just around the bend, everyone seems to be congregating at the same time. And on top of all that a killer plant tries to lure Conan in with the promise of easy sex.
Argh.
Monday, April 26, 2010
5. Tor Conan #20, Conan the Indomitable part 3
After a long break from this, partly due to events outside of my control, aka a cup of coffee spilled on my copy of indomitable, I finally got around to ordering another copy. So will pickup where we left off, but try and cover a bit more ground this time.
Part 3 Chapters 4-8
Conan and Elashi, Still being Pursued by the Harskeel, Duck behind a waterfall in the cavern. The noise of which distracts the white creatures. They come across some one named Tull, who fell in a hole and has been living in the caverns ever since. He fills them in on the underground conflict between Katamy Rey and Chuntha. The minions of which are still hunting Conan and Elashi.
After a brief rest at Tull's smaller cavern, the three set off to find a way out of the cave. They reach a bat cave, and while they are trying to negotiate it are beset by all of the trackers, Wikkel the Cyclops and his shaggy whites, Deek the giant Worm and his cavern bats, The Harskeel and her/his bandits. It turns into a free for all, and Tull, Conan and Elashi decide to leg it and let the rest sort themselves out.
It dosen't take long however for the three competing groups to realize their prey has made a run for it and stop fighting. Wikkel and Deek decide to work together, though both secretly plot against the other. Conan, Elashi and Tull reach an underground sea, where they decide despite the pursuit, to do a little sport fishing.
Harskeel interrogates one of the white creatures he/she captured earlier, Katamay Rey and Chuntha are beginning to lose patience with the ineptitude of their minions, and Conan, and Tull build a raft out of the dead fish they caught. After embarking on the underground sea, they quickly reach the other side in their fish raft.
Chuntha and Katamay, now fully flustered by their minions decide they will intercede personally.. along with a small retinue of course.. and the luggage.. Deek, and Wikkel are trying to figure out how the trio of heroes got across the sea. Deciding to enlist the aid of some spiders to build them a conveyance across.
Part 3 Chapters 4-8
Conan and Elashi, Still being Pursued by the Harskeel, Duck behind a waterfall in the cavern. The noise of which distracts the white creatures. They come across some one named Tull, who fell in a hole and has been living in the caverns ever since. He fills them in on the underground conflict between Katamy Rey and Chuntha. The minions of which are still hunting Conan and Elashi.
After a brief rest at Tull's smaller cavern, the three set off to find a way out of the cave. They reach a bat cave, and while they are trying to negotiate it are beset by all of the trackers, Wikkel the Cyclops and his shaggy whites, Deek the giant Worm and his cavern bats, The Harskeel and her/his bandits. It turns into a free for all, and Tull, Conan and Elashi decide to leg it and let the rest sort themselves out.
It dosen't take long however for the three competing groups to realize their prey has made a run for it and stop fighting. Wikkel and Deek decide to work together, though both secretly plot against the other. Conan, Elashi and Tull reach an underground sea, where they decide despite the pursuit, to do a little sport fishing.
Harskeel interrogates one of the white creatures he/she captured earlier, Katamay Rey and Chuntha are beginning to lose patience with the ineptitude of their minions, and Conan, and Tull build a raft out of the dead fish they caught. After embarking on the underground sea, they quickly reach the other side in their fish raft.
Chuntha and Katamay, now fully flustered by their minions decide they will intercede personally.. along with a small retinue of course.. and the luggage.. Deek, and Wikkel are trying to figure out how the trio of heroes got across the sea. Deciding to enlist the aid of some spiders to build them a conveyance across.
Friday, March 26, 2010
5. Tor Conan #20, Conan the Indomitable part 2
Part 2 Chapter 3-4
Chapter 3 introduces us to the antagonists of the story, The Wizard Katamay Rey and his minions, and the Witch Chuntha and her flunkys. They are apparently locked in a never ending struggle against one another and are both searching for the same thing. Surely no good can come of this for our Heros who are this very moment setting out from the Inn and not a moment to soon. A few hours after they left the village, the bandits and their hermaphrodite leader attack. Still looking for Conan and his blood in order to reverse their predicament.
Conan and Elashi are beset by a beast while on their southward journey through the mountains, Elashi inquires as to whether Conan has any gods to prey too, he answers in the negative. Crom, his god gives men a certain measure of strength and ability at birth and lets them have at it.. He is a harsh god of a Harsh land, though he could be little else. While they are busy yammering and dealing with the monster, Harskeel catches up to them. The Beast decides that the larger group is the bigger threat and attacks Harskeel and it's lackeys. Conan and Elashi make a run for it, determining they need to cover their trail better, when suddenly they walk into a sinkhole..
Finding themselves in a large cavern, and soon to be beset by a large number of shaggy white creatures. We learn that Katamay Rey's Cyclops Wikkel and the shaggy white creatures were responsible for the sinkhole. Fighting their way through the creatures Conan and Elashi make their escape. Meanwhile Chuntha and Katamey are still plotting and scryeing away, while their various and sundry minions converse with the denizens of the deep and bumble and bungle their way through many an attempt to achieve their masters assorted goals.
Chapter 3 introduces us to the antagonists of the story, The Wizard Katamay Rey and his minions, and the Witch Chuntha and her flunkys. They are apparently locked in a never ending struggle against one another and are both searching for the same thing. Surely no good can come of this for our Heros who are this very moment setting out from the Inn and not a moment to soon. A few hours after they left the village, the bandits and their hermaphrodite leader attack. Still looking for Conan and his blood in order to reverse their predicament.
Conan and Elashi are beset by a beast while on their southward journey through the mountains, Elashi inquires as to whether Conan has any gods to prey too, he answers in the negative. Crom, his god gives men a certain measure of strength and ability at birth and lets them have at it.. He is a harsh god of a Harsh land, though he could be little else. While they are busy yammering and dealing with the monster, Harskeel catches up to them. The Beast decides that the larger group is the bigger threat and attacks Harskeel and it's lackeys. Conan and Elashi make a run for it, determining they need to cover their trail better, when suddenly they walk into a sinkhole..
Finding themselves in a large cavern, and soon to be beset by a large number of shaggy white creatures. We learn that Katamay Rey's Cyclops Wikkel and the shaggy white creatures were responsible for the sinkhole. Fighting their way through the creatures Conan and Elashi make their escape. Meanwhile Chuntha and Katamey are still plotting and scryeing away, while their various and sundry minions converse with the denizens of the deep and bumble and bungle their way through many an attempt to achieve their masters assorted goals.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
5. Tor Conan #20, Conan the Indomitable
Part 1 Chapter 1-2
Picking up right after Conan the Defiant, Conan and Elashi last seen heading south, are at the juncture of Brythunia, Corinthia and Zamora. Conan is still carrying the sword he picked up in "The Thing in the Crypt", But it is little protection from Elashi's capriciousness and barbed tongue. But it is good for getting them out of a scrape or two along the road southwest out of the mountains. It is also the seeming goal of a group of bandits lead by a hermaphroditic leader, but after a brief battle Conan and Elashi send the remaining bandit and his leader packing. Leaving Conan to wonder, what is so special about his rather plain and unadorned sword.
At the First inn they come to, stomach and wine cup both filled. Conan observes that there are several more men dressed like the bandits in the common room. Another of the inn's denizens picks a fight with the men and Elashi prompts Conan to intercede. But the other man has it well in hand, His name is lalo and has practiced a Khitaian martial art known as Jit-Jit. He easily bests the other two men, and then purchases Conan a bottle of wine for his trouble.
We learn that Lalo's family had a curse laid on it.. which quickly decimated all of them sans Lalo. He manged to stay it off by traveling around, as the curse is he cannot help himself but to smile and make fun of others. Which of course engenders no end of hostilities. So he learned Jit Jit in order to deal with the consequences of his unwanted hilarity. But we also learn from lalo the name of the hermaphrodite Bandit leader, Harskeel of Loplain. We also learn that this person was once Two people who meddled with magics far beyond their meager abilities and were thus melded into one.. creating a some what unfortunate appearance and seemingly a split personality. This is the reason it was after Conan's sword, A Sword dipped in the blood of its brave owner will supposedly counteract the spell.
Picking up right after Conan the Defiant, Conan and Elashi last seen heading south, are at the juncture of Brythunia, Corinthia and Zamora. Conan is still carrying the sword he picked up in "The Thing in the Crypt", But it is little protection from Elashi's capriciousness and barbed tongue. But it is good for getting them out of a scrape or two along the road southwest out of the mountains. It is also the seeming goal of a group of bandits lead by a hermaphroditic leader, but after a brief battle Conan and Elashi send the remaining bandit and his leader packing. Leaving Conan to wonder, what is so special about his rather plain and unadorned sword.
At the First inn they come to, stomach and wine cup both filled. Conan observes that there are several more men dressed like the bandits in the common room. Another of the inn's denizens picks a fight with the men and Elashi prompts Conan to intercede. But the other man has it well in hand, His name is lalo and has practiced a Khitaian martial art known as Jit-Jit. He easily bests the other two men, and then purchases Conan a bottle of wine for his trouble.
We learn that Lalo's family had a curse laid on it.. which quickly decimated all of them sans Lalo. He manged to stay it off by traveling around, as the curse is he cannot help himself but to smile and make fun of others. Which of course engenders no end of hostilities. So he learned Jit Jit in order to deal with the consequences of his unwanted hilarity. But we also learn from lalo the name of the hermaphrodite Bandit leader, Harskeel of Loplain. We also learn that this person was once Two people who meddled with magics far beyond their meager abilities and were thus melded into one.. creating a some what unfortunate appearance and seemingly a split personality. This is the reason it was after Conan's sword, A Sword dipped in the blood of its brave owner will supposedly counteract the spell.
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