The day of the duel has arrived, Conan v. Zaius, winner take the princess. The bulk of the town has turned out to witness this event, understandably so, since if it's as dull as it seems they probably haven't had this much excitement since the last outbreak of Shemitish sand fleas. Zaius blusters and struts, thinking the Barbarian easy prey for his disciplined sword arm. As Monarch and townspeople watch, Zaius raises his sword and then neatly cuts his own head off*.
Conan is astounded and demands what sort of farce this contest is, but he is quickly shushed by the priestess's of Qjara lest he spoil the moment with his blasphemous chatter. Conan is thus defeated, through a technicality, and is shunned by the tiny nation-state of Qjara. He protests, but this avails him nothing. So in leaving Qjara, he reflects on what brought him here in the first place.
After leaving Zamboula, he began to journey northwest. But a series of dry oasis necessitated his veering off course during his journey. His ultimate goal was and still is to return to Shadizar, but since he had been thwarted by nature, he chose to wait in Qjara for a northbound caravan. But that has now been denied him as well, not one to sulk, he sets off on his own.
After some days he finds himself in a deserted city in the middle of the waste. He realizes with horror that this city is the cursed Yb. A demon haunted ruin shunned by everyone. He eventually encounters an unlikely procession, a great wagon bearing a stone idol, headed towards Qjara under the auspices of Khumannos the high priest. With a desire to right the wrongs inflicted on him by the people of Qjara he accepts Khumannos as a traveling companion and they head eastward once more.
*I swear I'm not making this up.
Showing posts with label Argh.. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Argh.. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Sunday, July 4, 2010
7. Tor Conan #22 - Conan the Formidable by Steve Perry. Part 4
Ok, lets get this out of the way.. I'm sick of dealing with it..
Chapters 16-25
After the fight with the villager, Dake is counting his money in his and reflecting on various conundrums. A big one is headed his way in the form of Raseri... Bruised and battered, Conan is resting and thinking of how to escape. He has been frequently informed that such an attempt is futile due to Dake's Magic. But he persists, the last time they attempted to flee there were but three, now their are eight.
Unfortunately the other captives prove to be correct, as their attempt is halted after only a few feet. Patience was not Conan's strength, but a consensus among the others was that a second attempt not be made. Dake's small caravan buy's its way into the midst of a larger Ophiric caravan headed to Shadizar, owned by a Lord Capaya.
Raseri the Giant, and Fosull the Dwarf, meet upon the road. At first they come near to blows but then reason out that it would be best to forge a temporary alliance. They have come to this decision in the nick of time to prevent the depravities that Capeya and Dake have planned for the captives.
Dake, distracted by one of Capeya's slaves momentarily looses control of his magic and the whole collection manages to escape.. Capeya, Kreg and Dake and a large number of caravan guards set out to retrieve them. They are outwitted time and again by Conan and the others. Steadily losing numbers, they opt for a head on confrontation. This does not go well for them as Dake is slain by Conan and the rest are dispatched in other ways.
Conan says his goodbyes and continues on his way to Shadizar.
...ARGHHH....
Locations - Zamora
Towns/Cities -
Characters - Conan The Cimmerian, Jatte: Theyle, Oren, Morja, Raseri. Corinthian Wagoneers, Dake, Kreg, Penz the wolfman, Tro the Catgirl. Vargs: Vilken, Fossul, Brack
Languages Spoken - Cimmerian, Aesir, Hyperborean, Brythunian, Zamoran
Review -
ok, so finally.. after kicking my feet and screaming I've finally made it through the Steve Perry cycle... I don't really even know what to say about this one.. I've already said it all about the last three.. reading this much Steve perry in one lump is hazardous to your health.. You make wonder why I've got 10 chapters covered in the space I normally only cover five in.. well the simple answer is that nothing happened in most of those 10 chapters.. all of Steve Perry's books read as the first part of a trilogy.. which was fine back in Defiant or even Indomitable.. but the fact it continued in Free-lance and Formidable.. It's a standard formula... introduce Conan to some assorted odd creatures, bed at least one of the strange creature's females.. have him go on a long quest, and at the end be a few hundred miles closer to Shadizar.
This started out perfectly reasonable, a travel tale. But I knew already from the cover that wasn't to be. You see the cover's of the Tor books really don't leave much to the imgination, this one features Conan fighting a large four armed Giant.. and so of course he encounters a large four armed giant... in addition to a Cat Girl, a Wolfman, and dwarfish cannibales with mottled green skin known as Vargs. The Giant's and Vargs were created by a wizard (of course) in order that he might more quickly build his castle. This creating creatures to do your bidding thing is a halmark of most of Steve Perry's villians.
So now we are in Shadizar, but what sucks is.. according to Robert Jordan's Timeline (the editor of the Tor Pastiches).. These Steve Perry books would lead into Robert E. Howard's Tower of the Elephant.. But astute readers will remember that Tower of the Elephant .. DOESN'T TAKE PLACE IN SHADIZAR! So .. Steve has just spent about 1200 pages getting Conan to the wrong City.
So needless to say, the way the Chronology is laid out at the moment.. no one has really ever put much thought into it... least of all the Pastiche Writers.
Chapters 16-25
After the fight with the villager, Dake is counting his money in his and reflecting on various conundrums. A big one is headed his way in the form of Raseri... Bruised and battered, Conan is resting and thinking of how to escape. He has been frequently informed that such an attempt is futile due to Dake's Magic. But he persists, the last time they attempted to flee there were but three, now their are eight.
Unfortunately the other captives prove to be correct, as their attempt is halted after only a few feet. Patience was not Conan's strength, but a consensus among the others was that a second attempt not be made. Dake's small caravan buy's its way into the midst of a larger Ophiric caravan headed to Shadizar, owned by a Lord Capaya.
Raseri the Giant, and Fosull the Dwarf, meet upon the road. At first they come near to blows but then reason out that it would be best to forge a temporary alliance. They have come to this decision in the nick of time to prevent the depravities that Capeya and Dake have planned for the captives.
Dake, distracted by one of Capeya's slaves momentarily looses control of his magic and the whole collection manages to escape.. Capeya, Kreg and Dake and a large number of caravan guards set out to retrieve them. They are outwitted time and again by Conan and the others. Steadily losing numbers, they opt for a head on confrontation. This does not go well for them as Dake is slain by Conan and the rest are dispatched in other ways.
Conan says his goodbyes and continues on his way to Shadizar.
...ARGHHH....
Locations - Zamora
Towns/Cities -
Characters - Conan The Cimmerian, Jatte: Theyle, Oren, Morja, Raseri. Corinthian Wagoneers, Dake, Kreg, Penz the wolfman, Tro the Catgirl. Vargs: Vilken, Fossul, Brack
Languages Spoken - Cimmerian, Aesir, Hyperborean, Brythunian, Zamoran
Review -
ok, so finally.. after kicking my feet and screaming I've finally made it through the Steve Perry cycle... I don't really even know what to say about this one.. I've already said it all about the last three.. reading this much Steve perry in one lump is hazardous to your health.. You make wonder why I've got 10 chapters covered in the space I normally only cover five in.. well the simple answer is that nothing happened in most of those 10 chapters.. all of Steve Perry's books read as the first part of a trilogy.. which was fine back in Defiant or even Indomitable.. but the fact it continued in Free-lance and Formidable.. It's a standard formula... introduce Conan to some assorted odd creatures, bed at least one of the strange creature's females.. have him go on a long quest, and at the end be a few hundred miles closer to Shadizar.
This started out perfectly reasonable, a travel tale. But I knew already from the cover that wasn't to be. You see the cover's of the Tor books really don't leave much to the imgination, this one features Conan fighting a large four armed Giant.. and so of course he encounters a large four armed giant... in addition to a Cat Girl, a Wolfman, and dwarfish cannibales with mottled green skin known as Vargs. The Giant's and Vargs were created by a wizard (of course) in order that he might more quickly build his castle. This creating creatures to do your bidding thing is a halmark of most of Steve Perry's villians.
So now we are in Shadizar, but what sucks is.. according to Robert Jordan's Timeline (the editor of the Tor Pastiches).. These Steve Perry books would lead into Robert E. Howard's Tower of the Elephant.. But astute readers will remember that Tower of the Elephant .. DOESN'T TAKE PLACE IN SHADIZAR! So .. Steve has just spent about 1200 pages getting Conan to the wrong City.
So needless to say, the way the Chronology is laid out at the moment.. no one has really ever put much thought into it... least of all the Pastiche Writers.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
5. Tor Conan #20, Conan the Indomitable part 6
Chapters 17-21
Talking Bats, Talking Worms, Talking Spiders and Hermaphroditic bandit Leaders.. not to mention an evil dark lord or two all stand between Conan and the Witches Chamber full of Gems. Conan's Plan was Simple, and I see no reason to blather on about it. Naturally Elashi has her doubts, but whats a snarky shrew character for except to harp about stuff the Man does.. Conan takes a moment to remind the reader, of the Giant Fish.. The Dreaded Fishboat of my nightmares.. which only was finally dispatched 20 pages previously.. obviously Steve Perry had ideas on turning Conan the Indomitable into a Multi-Tome Epic.. but then thought better of it and abridged it heavily.. Part of me is still wondering what exactly Lalo has been doing this whole time, Part of me thinks there is a story But thus far we have been spared hearing it.
Though with typical brevity, the group slashes their way through the denizens of the underground caverns and finds the Witches Trove, Several large worms tree Conan and Tull, but instead of attacking ask Conan to Come down.. He dosen't but instead showers them with boulders, crushing two of them. It is very interesting they speak a variation of the Language of the Hyperboreans. It makes sense even that Conan can speak it, what with having been a slave in Hyperborea, It yet again shows how much Perry drew from DeCamp and Carter's "Legion of the Dead" and "The thing in the Crypt". Why is it that Pastiche writers seem to build on other pastiche writers instead of on the original author?
After pilfering some jewels and beating an escape just as Wikkel and Deek show up to inspect the dead worms. Strange voices begin to haunt Conan as they go through the tunnels, apparently converting his own arm chair psychoanalysis of his companions into aural hallucinations. But upon reflection this made no sense to Conan. You are not alone my friend, as it makes no sense to me either.
The Pot boils over, The Harskeel and the Bats catch up to the Barbarian crew. A terrible fight, Conan looks sure to be slain, the harskeel begins to chant the spell which combined with Conan's blood will surely make one, two again. But just as they have achieved their goal, they run afoul of Katamay Rey.. and wind up as stinking puddles of ooze.
Conan Recovers from the minor blood loss, but begins to hear the voices again.. then he sees her.. Chuntha the Witch.. enchanting him to be her lover, never mind her last one didn't even survive and Hour. While he is enthralled to the Witch, Tull, Lalo and Elashi run into Katamay Rey. He seems to recognize Lalo from some where, and insinuates that he has a Brother Mombaya Rey with a penchant for curses like the one lalo Suffers from. Things do not bode well for our Heroes.
Argh.
Talking Bats, Talking Worms, Talking Spiders and Hermaphroditic bandit Leaders.. not to mention an evil dark lord or two all stand between Conan and the Witches Chamber full of Gems. Conan's Plan was Simple, and I see no reason to blather on about it. Naturally Elashi has her doubts, but whats a snarky shrew character for except to harp about stuff the Man does.. Conan takes a moment to remind the reader, of the Giant Fish.. The Dreaded Fishboat of my nightmares.. which only was finally dispatched 20 pages previously.. obviously Steve Perry had ideas on turning Conan the Indomitable into a Multi-Tome Epic.. but then thought better of it and abridged it heavily.. Part of me is still wondering what exactly Lalo has been doing this whole time, Part of me thinks there is a story But thus far we have been spared hearing it.
Though with typical brevity, the group slashes their way through the denizens of the underground caverns and finds the Witches Trove, Several large worms tree Conan and Tull, but instead of attacking ask Conan to Come down.. He dosen't but instead showers them with boulders, crushing two of them. It is very interesting they speak a variation of the Language of the Hyperboreans. It makes sense even that Conan can speak it, what with having been a slave in Hyperborea, It yet again shows how much Perry drew from DeCamp and Carter's "Legion of the Dead" and "The thing in the Crypt". Why is it that Pastiche writers seem to build on other pastiche writers instead of on the original author?
After pilfering some jewels and beating an escape just as Wikkel and Deek show up to inspect the dead worms. Strange voices begin to haunt Conan as they go through the tunnels, apparently converting his own arm chair psychoanalysis of his companions into aural hallucinations. But upon reflection this made no sense to Conan. You are not alone my friend, as it makes no sense to me either.
The Pot boils over, The Harskeel and the Bats catch up to the Barbarian crew. A terrible fight, Conan looks sure to be slain, the harskeel begins to chant the spell which combined with Conan's blood will surely make one, two again. But just as they have achieved their goal, they run afoul of Katamay Rey.. and wind up as stinking puddles of ooze.
Conan Recovers from the minor blood loss, but begins to hear the voices again.. then he sees her.. Chuntha the Witch.. enchanting him to be her lover, never mind her last one didn't even survive and Hour. While he is enthralled to the Witch, Tull, Lalo and Elashi run into Katamay Rey. He seems to recognize Lalo from some where, and insinuates that he has a Brother Mombaya Rey with a penchant for curses like the one lalo Suffers from. Things do not bode well for our Heroes.
Argh.
Friday, May 14, 2010
5. Tor Conan #20, Conan the Indomitable part 5
Chapters 13-16
Wikkel and Deek are still trying to find a way out of the cave while Conan and Elashi and Tull are attacked by the Harskeel's goons and it's giant bat allies. This fight is not going to plan so the Harskeel resorts to sorcery, throwing what it thinks is a flash vial at Conan to blind him. The Harskeel throws the wrong vial and creates an over all aura of darkness rather than only incapacitating Conan.
The Adventurers run past the harskeel down the tunnel, The Cyclops and Worm find they are stuck in another dead end and return the way they came, reaching the entrance of their tunnel just as Katamay Rey is coming ashore on their side of the sunless sea. The two comiserate together how this bodes ill for both. When suddenly the three wanderers burst out of the tunnel directly in front of Katamay Rey. They are captured, and this is observed by the latecomer to the party, Chuntha the Witch.
The Adventurers Captured, the Cyclops and Worm consider their options, both are failures and thus unable to return to their respective masters. due to an unlikely set of coincidences the Trio manage to escape and leave the Wizard, Witch and Bandit Leader once again angry and confused. They run into the water where their is a conviently placed fog bank.. and who should they run into but Lalo the cursed minstrel who hasn't been heard of since Chapter 2.
The Burgeoning group of explorers begin planning how to escape from the fecundity of villians chasing them. Wikkel and Deek have resolved to sow a revolt composed of the joint Cyclops and Worm forces against the various villians in the underground cave network. Katamey Rey is left wondering what hand Chuntha had in his loss of the the prisoners, Chunthu is deciding how to further her own plans and the Harskeel is left wondering where his moronic Bat allies have buggered off to.
The explorers set off to lay seige to the Witches quarters and hopefully pocket a few gems. Meanwhile the Worm and Cyclops are gathering allies for their self liberation, and the blasted bats have taken their sweet time returning. Chuntha sets off in her worm-ship and dispatches a giant hornet to scout the tunnels looking for her prey.
Argh.
Wikkel and Deek are still trying to find a way out of the cave while Conan and Elashi and Tull are attacked by the Harskeel's goons and it's giant bat allies. This fight is not going to plan so the Harskeel resorts to sorcery, throwing what it thinks is a flash vial at Conan to blind him. The Harskeel throws the wrong vial and creates an over all aura of darkness rather than only incapacitating Conan.
The Adventurers run past the harskeel down the tunnel, The Cyclops and Worm find they are stuck in another dead end and return the way they came, reaching the entrance of their tunnel just as Katamay Rey is coming ashore on their side of the sunless sea. The two comiserate together how this bodes ill for both. When suddenly the three wanderers burst out of the tunnel directly in front of Katamay Rey. They are captured, and this is observed by the latecomer to the party, Chuntha the Witch.
The Adventurers Captured, the Cyclops and Worm consider their options, both are failures and thus unable to return to their respective masters. due to an unlikely set of coincidences the Trio manage to escape and leave the Wizard, Witch and Bandit Leader once again angry and confused. They run into the water where their is a conviently placed fog bank.. and who should they run into but Lalo the cursed minstrel who hasn't been heard of since Chapter 2.
The Burgeoning group of explorers begin planning how to escape from the fecundity of villians chasing them. Wikkel and Deek have resolved to sow a revolt composed of the joint Cyclops and Worm forces against the various villians in the underground cave network. Katamey Rey is left wondering what hand Chuntha had in his loss of the the prisoners, Chunthu is deciding how to further her own plans and the Harskeel is left wondering where his moronic Bat allies have buggered off to.
The explorers set off to lay seige to the Witches quarters and hopefully pocket a few gems. Meanwhile the Worm and Cyclops are gathering allies for their self liberation, and the blasted bats have taken their sweet time returning. Chuntha sets off in her worm-ship and dispatches a giant hornet to scout the tunnels looking for her prey.
Argh.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
5. Tor Conan #20, Conan the Indomitable part 4
Part 4. Chapters 9 - 12
Our band of adventurers are still floating in their fishboat on the underground sea, not really doing much.. so we are treated to a "meanwhile" with a lot of discussion between Deek and Wikkel about their various concerns. Harskeel and Sorcerer and Witch all continue their own paths after the heroes with some really strange introspection..
Wikkel and Deek build themselves a boat and set out on the underground sea, the Harskeel's bandits are still at war with the cave bats, Conan, Elashi and Tull are heading down a river which branches off from the sea.
The Harskeel has now bribed the bats to be its minions, our adventurers abandon their fishboat to continue on shore, and Chuntha and Rey have now found their way to different parts of the sunless sea.
Only shortly on shore, Wikkel and Deek catch up to the adventurers, and the first of the Harkseels bat scouts reports they are just around the bend, everyone seems to be congregating at the same time. And on top of all that a killer plant tries to lure Conan in with the promise of easy sex.
Argh.
Our band of adventurers are still floating in their fishboat on the underground sea, not really doing much.. so we are treated to a "meanwhile" with a lot of discussion between Deek and Wikkel about their various concerns. Harskeel and Sorcerer and Witch all continue their own paths after the heroes with some really strange introspection..
Wikkel and Deek build themselves a boat and set out on the underground sea, the Harskeel's bandits are still at war with the cave bats, Conan, Elashi and Tull are heading down a river which branches off from the sea.
The Harskeel has now bribed the bats to be its minions, our adventurers abandon their fishboat to continue on shore, and Chuntha and Rey have now found their way to different parts of the sunless sea.
Only shortly on shore, Wikkel and Deek catch up to the adventurers, and the first of the Harkseels bat scouts reports they are just around the bend, everyone seems to be congregating at the same time. And on top of all that a killer plant tries to lure Conan in with the promise of easy sex.
Argh.
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