Conan the Adventurer: Episode 7

Well I thought for a few days that I wasn't going to be able to continue my reviews of the TV series. Netflix has decided to remove it from their streaming service. However, I was tipped off that the entire series is still available on Hulu.com.

So here we go.

From Hyborean Apocrypha

Episode 7: The Ruby Fruit Forest.

Conan and the crew are riding through a vaguely jungle-like swath of land, they find a ruby lodged in the hoof of Bayu's horse. A brief argument ensues as to the ownership of said gem. Conan simply chucks it into the river to settle the spat. Upon crossing the river however they come upon a man who was killed by a booby trap. They decide to head back, but Otli is knocked from the back of Zzebens horse necessitating an unsuccessful rescue by the Cimmerian. The three remaining companions set off to follow the river looking for Otli.

They soon realize that Otli is still alive, but has been taken by some unknown party of individuals. They also find traces of Hissar Zhul's soldiery. Soon finding themselves in the midst of a battle between the soldiers and the forests native inhabitants. The soldiers are defeated but the natives shoot the three companions with poisoned darts, as they drift off to sleep they finally see the elusive foe.

Sporting face paint and jungle headdresses, these natives survive by their cunning in laying traps and outwitting Hissar Zhul's soldiers. They also have Otli, who they consider the representation of their God, Mordan. Otli revels in his new position of power, but soon has the three companions freed. He goes onto explain that the Rubies that are so plentiful in the forest, contain a special power for summoning spells. Hissar Zhul has a great and insatiable lust for the gems, and sends his soldiers to raid the villages and secure all they can find.

Bayu also has a lust for the rubies, not for their magical properties but for their value on the open market. He convinces one of the forest children to show him where they come from. Otli is also having conflicting opinions as to what he should do, he feels obligated to stay with these simple people and help them in their fight against Hissar Zhul. But he also feels that would be letting down Conan and the others in their own quest to fight Hissar Zhul.

Orders have been sent through magical means to Hissar Zhul's general in the area. He is to raid the villages, leaving none of the forest people alive and collect every gem he can find. Bayu has gone to the source of the rubies, while he attempts to explain to the child why he wants them, the child also explains to him why he dosen't. They aren't there long before the soldiers appear, they threaten the boy and Bayu springs into action to protect him.

The boy escapes but Bayu is captured and tortured for the location of the rubies. Having been taught something important about life by the simple words of the forest child, Bayu would rather endure the torture than help the soldiers. The boy soon returns to lead Conan and Zzeben to where the soldiers have Bayu. They arrive in the nick of time to save him from death, and prevent the soldiers from getting the magical rubies.

Upon their return to the village, Otli decides he cannot continue to lie to the forest people and so decides to continue with Conan on his quest to destroy Hissar Zhul.

Conan The Adventurer, Episode 6

From Hyborean Apocrypha

"A Friend in Need"

When we last visited our adventurers they had just decided to team up with the mighty warrior Baiyu. The group is walking along a forested path when they stop at a pile of skulls on the roadside. Baiyu, having been this way previously explains the it bears the sign of the red snake, a tribe which possibly harbours cannibalistic tendencies. They are just preparing to move on when a blond maned barbarian rides his horse out of the forest and engages Conan in a fight.

It turns out the man is an old acquaintance of Conans. He is on his way to wage war against the blue-stone cult, which requires him to also cross the territory of the redsnake. The bluestone attacked the village he was living in at the time, and he goes to revenge himself upon them. Conan and the others decide to go with him. They have several small adventures along the path and then stop at an inn. Before they leave the Inn, Zzeben eavesdrops on the blonde man as he bargains with Blue-stone men. Zzeben feels the man is planning to betray them, but he convinces them all its a mistake.

Eventually, after several more days journey, they make their way along the road to the land of the blue-stones. Before they get there however, it turns out that Zzebens suspicions were right as the man betrays them to Hissar Zhul's men. During the skirmish Conan is cutoff on the other side of a chasm from his companions and gets goes free while they become captives. Captives destined to be handed over to Hissar Zhul.

Eventually though Conan makes his way to the fortress they are being held at, and confronts his erstwhile friend. While thats going on the others make good their escape and defeat the sorceress (Played by Tangerine from the Garbage Pail Kids Movie) Hissar Zhul has left. Conan is forced to kill his friend, and then the group makes its way back to the main road. Onwards towards more adventures.

Conan the Villain?

First let me say, I've never heard of this guy before. The only reason I came across this, it is because it was on the TOR website.

In regards to Conan, Willingham was being coy on the genesis of the villains in Mysterly River. (Villains that panel interviewer Heidi MacDonald of The Beat called, “truly chilling.”) Without giving too much away about the plot of the book, Willingham explained that the idea for the Mysterly River villains came from watching the Conan television show. Here was a barbarian—all muscle and anima and reaction in his movie appearances—who was now actively seeking out problems in order to rectify them. Willingham compared that to what he spoke of as the true essence of a villain: someone who thinks they know the best way to do something, and wants to enforce it on everyone around them. While Conan didn’t seem villainous, Willingham recognized how short a stone’s throw that approach was to the villains in Mysterly River.

So Apparently, Conan in "Conan the Adventurer" is actually not such a good guy after all.. even though he goes around helping people. Because Helping People is apparently the stuff of wretchedness and villainy. I'm not really sure I follow his reasoning. The story of "Adventurer" is not connected to the movies.. so it's really unfair to compare Arnold's Conan to Ralf's Conan. It's not even fair to come Arnold's Conan The Barbarian, to Arnold's Conan The Destroyer, or Arnold's Lord Kalidor. All of them are vaguely similar characters, ostensibly all are supposed to be the same character.. even if thats barely supported in the scripts.

I'm guessing he is trying to make a point about "The Road to hell being paved in good intentions" which is something I've remarked on that is ripe for vast tracts of exposition on in Terry Goodkind's Sword of Truth series. Having some one who "Thinks they know whats best" come in and re-arrange the furniture to their liking. Thing is, sometimes some people do know whats best regardless of what the masses think. This kind of smacks of anti-elitism. "How dare those WHO workers come in and tell us we should dig our cesspits downstream from the drinking water! Who do they think they are?!"


Or being that I'm only 5 episodes into Conan the Adventurer maybe I just am missing something, but I have a really hard time seeing Ralf Moeller as a villain. He certainly never came across that way in Gladiator, or even The Viking Sagas.

I could see the man getting this impression of Conan, if say he'd only read "Vale of Lost Women". But Certainly not from the TV Series..

It seems kind of an odd thing to say really.

Conan The Adventurer, Episode 5

From Hyborean Apocrypha

"The Siege of Ahl Sohn-Bar"

After the departure of Volkar the rest of the crew continues on its way. Passing through a town They get into an brief altercation with one Baiyu or Axechotl. He knows that Conan's wanted by Hissar Zhul, and wants him to leave before the soldiers get there. This is diffused quickly however, as neither him nor Conan really want to fight. But before long it turns out Baiyu might have been in the right or it, as Hissar Zhul's men attack the town. They escape, and they seem to have quickly replaced the missing Volkar with a new, if less agreeable companion.

Observing from his magic pool, Hissar Zhul observes the companions ride into the haunted city of Ahl Sohn-Bar, a place that makes even the skin of Hissar Zhul creep. He decides to have his soldiers surround the place, but let the evil within do his work for him. Soldiers are expensive and he dosen't wish to lose any. This caution seems to be well founded as the companions rescue a girl from a Slime/tentacle monster.

Conan feels this is an evil omen, but realizes he's trapped in the city upon seeing Hissar Zhul's men. So while the companions wait it out in the city, the General of the besieging forces meets with the headman. He explains that they can get rid of Conan, or he will burn the city to get the barbarian. The villagers decide it best to kill the barbarian themselves and attack him and the companions. But villagers armed with pitchforks are little use against road hardened fighters like Conan's companions. They manage to overwhelm Zzeben and Baiyu through numbers, and Othli runs to get Conan.

Conan manages to convince the headman to let his companions free, And turns the villagers against him by saying he sided with Hissar Zhul's men. While this is going on the slime monster has returned and is menacing the girl once more. Conan decides this time it must be destroyed and leaps into action. He rescues the girl again, but the slime monster grows larger. It begins to attack Hissar Zhul's army too, leading to them losing many men. Their general opts to flee the beast leaving it up to Conan to stop it. He finally slays the one monster, but then it becomes obvious that the girl is herself one of the slime monsters who has been pretending to be human. Baiyu and Zzeben come to this conclusion and rescue Conan from the poisoned sleep the creature has put him in. They burn the house the new slime monster is in and then decide to leave. Baiyu now fits in among the group marvelously, quickly falling into the banter between them and decides to journey with them for a while.

Conan The Adventurer, Episode 4 / 22

From Hyborean Apocrypha

Episode 4, Heir Apparent.

Having escaped from the lair of the beastmen, Vulkar, Otli, Zzeben and Conan are still heading south, they've crossed the mountains and are now following the coast. They are hanging out in a fishing village, not having any luck, news comes to them that Hissah Zhul has created a one eyed monster who eats all the fish. So naturally, Conan and the crew agree to help. Vulkar is also planning to leave the group soon and return to his homeland.

Meanwhile there are intrigues afoot in Hissah Zhul's Palace. he plans to have the Wizard Acktel deal with the Barbarian. Also One of his serving girls is conspiring with Acktel for some purposes. She is having her assistant Tambal taken from her and is displeased. Acktel leaves the palace to ride to the coast and meet with Conan. He claims that he works for a Queen Vitta, and that he merely serves her. The two part ways each distrusting the other's motives for dealing with the one eye'd monster.

We find out what is the special purpose of Tambal. Acktel plans to sacrifice her to appease the monster. Conan fights his way towards the girl but is too late to stop Acktel from summoning a (very poorly rendered) Cthuhloid monstrosity from the deeps. He manages to save the girl though, and the pieces fall into place that Acktel is working with Hissah Zhul (this would have been better had the audience not found this out already).

They take the girl and head inland looking for the Queen, who apparently hasn't been seen in a long time. Hissah Zhul has put a curse on her so she cannot leave a magical realm or act on her people's behalf. They inform her that her protege Acktel is working for Zhul. So she agrees to help them while they are in her realm. She takes them to a room filled with magical weapons to aid them in their quest to slay Acktel and defeat Hissah Zhul. She decides to leave with them, even though by breaking Hissah Zhul's enchantment it will cause her to slowly wither. This is reported back to Hissah Zhul by the Skull that talks.

Conan and the group begin their attack on Hissah Zhul's forces in Queen Vitta's Land. This is done to buy her some time to get the fish back. While the battle rages the queen begins to age visibly. Acktel intercedes at the last moment and attacks the Queen and summons the sea monster again. Conan throws Acktel to the monster and then fends it off. Acktel dead, Conan takes the queen back to her enchanted realm. On their way they are ambushed, and the queen slain. But not before she reveals that Tambal is her daughter so the royal line will be continued.

With a new Queen wielding the magic staff in the land, the fish returned, Adventure Over, Vulkar departs the group and returns to his village while the rest carry on their fight against Hissah Zhul.

- This episode is actually #22 based on its original airdate. However, chronologically it's the last episode with Vulkar and is set before the introduction of a new character. So the DVD corrects this flaw and puts it following #3, Lair of the Beastmen.

Conan The Adventurer, Episode 3

From Hyborean Apocrypha

Episode 3, Lair of the Beastmen

We find Conan and his merry men, Zzeben, Vulkar and Otli are still following the the directions of the Sword of Atlantis. It's been leading them toward the mountains for days, some one is in trouble (Whats that Lassy? Little Timmy is down the well?!). There is plenty of bickering among the troops, a cute reference to Lord of the Rings "Why do we have to go over the mountain? why can't we just go around!" from the Dwarf Otli. Vulkar informs Conan that Otli is simply afraid of the legends of the beastmen.. and no more has finished relaying the tale than the band is beset by some sketchy looking guys in party store helmets and are being forced off their path, So in lieu of the road, Conan leaves the party to shelter in a cave while he tries to find another path over the mountain.

Zzeben and Conan set off on their climb, before long, they find a cave and go in. Inside is a woman who beckons to Conan but before he can go to her, a horde of beastmen attacks him. Zzeben manages to escape and go back and get Vulkar, they leave Otli behind in case Conan returns. Which is unlikely to happen as some beastmen (Orcs) have him taken prisoner and trussed up. The two who are tasked with keeping tabs on him remark how strong and manly he looks.. and that perhaps the outside world isn't as they've been told. But lament how they will never know, as Hissar Zhul has deemed them unworthy of leaving their lair.

Vulkar and Zzeben return to the site of the ambush, and retrieve Conan's sword. They presume from this that Conan is dead, and return to Otli to tell him the news. Conan is now a slave of the beastmen, made to perform manual labour until he dies. He attempts to stir the other slaves to rebel, but they alas are too indoctrinated to listen. He however vows to escape. An escape would not come too soon, as Hissar Zhul is being informed of his plight and is making plans to deal with Conan, but like any self assured dark lord, is at the moment content to watch Conan waste away in the slave mines.

Conan's first attempt at escape is thwarted by the other slaves, so he will have to try again. In the meanwhile he learns that Hissar Zhul is having the beastmen and their slaves mine a special ore, from which they are building magical weapons to arm the beastmen armies so that they might conquer the world. After learning this, Conan is found out by the beastmen and escapes down another tunnel. He's equipped with only a small knife when he is beset upon by a huge beast.

Meanwhile, Otli who dosen't believe Conan is dead and sets off to find him on his own. He's taken the sword of Atlantis with him, and after a few adventurers of his own manages to find Conan in the midst of battling the rancor like animal. He throws him the Sword and Conan uses it to slay the beast, the two adventurers then spur the slaves to rebellion and escape back to the surface and return to where Otli left Zzben and Volkar sleeping. The party reunited, they set off once more on their adventures.

Conan the Adventurer, Episode 2

From Hyborean Apocrypha

Conan: The Adventurer - Episode 2, The Heart of the Elephant part 2

Episode Two opens with Conan and Otli are sitting beside a river having a theological discussion about the nature of Crom's attitude towards testing as a form of caring. Just as the debate is heating up, a woman attacks and kicks Conan into the river. Her troops then arrive and take Otli and Conan prisoner.. Conan winds up in her bed, but then rebukes her and gets dressed. We learn the woman's name is Carella, Queen of Thieves. She's curious as to where Conan is headed, to which he answers to find the Wizard Yara, Carella too wishes to find Yara, to steal his magic Jewel. This Jewel is the Heart of the Elephant, to which this two parter gets its name. Conan replies that he is not interested in the jewel, only in rescuing Tamira. After calling him foolish for this quest, she offers herself to Conan once more, but he replies he only wants to collect Otli and get going.

Zzeben and Vulkar are still following Conan, They come across some of the survivors from Tamiras Village who are likewise looking for Conan. Hoping he will lead them to fight back against Hissar Zhul, They go with the survivors. The Farmers wish to attack a passing band of Zhul's troops, and Zzeben and Vulkar organize them to do it right. Meanwhile Otli and Conan have made it to Arenjun to find Yara. Before Conan enters the wizard's lair, Otli urges caution and Conan remarks"wizards can die". Shortly after Conan finds Tamira, but is captured by Yara. Yara imprisons Tamira in a mirror and tasks with an errand or he will keep her imprisoned forever. The Task is to retrieve his Jewel, the Heart of the elephant, Stolen by the creature which guards the tower.

Otli and Conan begin investigating the problem placed before them by Yara, and run into Carella again. Conan and Carella make a bargain, she gets all of the other stones, but Conan gets to return the Heart of the Elephant to Yara in exchange for Tamira's life. Venturing into the chamber with the Heart alone, Conan discovers it is guarded by a giant spider. Conan fights with it for a while, but quickly subdues it and makes his way deeper into the tower and discovers a large creature sitting on a throne. It relates to him how it taught Yara but he wanted all the power.

The large creature tells Conan that the stone was never Yara's but was his, and that Yara has been attempting to steal it for decades.. It tells Conan to kill it, and squeeze its heart's blood over the gem before taking it to Yara. It also tells Conan to deliver a message, That Yag-Kosha sends one last gift. The Task completed, the Jewel secured, Conan returns to Yara's Keep.

Unbeknown to Conan, General Goroth takes Tamira from yara and stabs her. Conan hands over the gem, and demands to know where Tamira is. Yara explains about Goroth and takes the gem, Conan says the words from Yag-Kosha and Yara is destroyed. He races to where Tamria is, where he has a few moments before she dies. And then the hunt for Goroth is on. Goroth returns to report to Hissar Zhul, that he has slain Tamira and called off the search for Conan. Zhul at first is furious, until Goroth explains that now out of Vengeance, Conan will come to him.

Conan and Otli meet Zzeben and Vulkar on the road to find Hissar Zhul. They relate how they have been gathering villagers and others tired of living under Zhul's rule. Conan speechifies a bit in order to motivate the villagers to follow him against Zhul for Revenge or Freedom. Along the way Conan and the Villagers join forces with Carellas thieves and bandits. And the Makeshift army marches against Hissar Zhul. Upon arrival this army is observed by Goroth, who plans to ambush them.

But Conan has already laid his own ambush and dispatches Goroth's Army ending by drowning Goroth. The Magic skull which Zhul converses with informs him that the battle went badly, and also that Conan is heading towards Zhul's castle soon. The skull suggests also that the better part of valor is discretion and that they should flee before he arrives. As the army arrives, Zhul's castle vanishes. Conan, Otli, Zzeben, and Vulkar set off to find Hissar Zhul and so the arc of the next twenty episodes is established.


Stories "Borrowed from" - "The Tower of the Elephant", Conan The Mercenary, and Conan and the Sorcerer


This episode is not even close to being bad, atleast until after the death of Tamira.. Zzeben and Vulkar, Otli and Carella are all decent enough characters but seeing Conan blubbering about Tamira. It was ridiculous when Milius had Swarzegnegger do it in the movie.. but at least Valeria was something special.. In the context of the film.. Tamira is just a farm girl who Conan only met a few days previously who's father was Mickey Rooney! It seems rather strange he would be so enthralled to her already..

Still the second act of the episode was an improvement over both the first episode and the first half of the second episode. Though its shaping up to be better than some of the Steve Perry novels anyway.. at least in so far.. there are no talking animals.. be thankful for small blessings I suppose.

Conan the Adventurer, Episode 1

From Hyborean Apocrypha

Conan: The Adventurer - (1997)

"After the oceans swallowed Atlantis but before the age of recorded history. Kingdom's spread across the ancient world.. This was the age of Conan. Enslaved as a Boy, Conan grew into a Warrior. He Escaped to encounter Mystery, magic and Myth, while forever encountering the ultimate master of sorcery. Lover, Friend, Hero. His Destiny, was to free the oppressed, And become a King by his own hand, Conan"

This is the third Conan Television series, following 1992's Conan the Adventurer and 1994's Conan and the Young Warriors. However it is the only live action series. It ran for 22 episodes. This show dosen't follow 1982's Conan the Barbarian, 1985's Conan the Destroyer or 1987's Red Sonja.


Conan: The Adventurer - Episode 1, The Heart of the Elephant part 1 (1997)

"Thousands of years ago, long after the oceans drank the gleaming city of Atlantis, There was an age undreamed of, when mythical kingdoms spread across the uncharted world like mantles beneath the stars. The Hyborian age, a time of superstition and myth. When sorcerers cast evil spells and fantastic creatures stalked the earth. A time when many were ruled by few. In this world lived an adventurer destined to be its king. A man in whose veins flowed the ancient blood of Atlantis, He is a Cimmerian, born on the Battlefield, strengthened by time and trial, He.. Is Conan"

So the Narrator informs us at the beginning of this episode, just before a man who is obviously a King wakes up. We are informed via his interrogation of a dodgy special effects skull beast thing that this is a recurring dream of his impending death at the hands of Conan. The man with this recurring dream is the so called King of Cimmeria, Hissar Zhul. He is especially concerned to acquire the Sword which Conan carries. His skull like adviser, recommends sending an army to capture Conan and the sword before he can fulfill his destiny of overthrowing Hissar Zhul. Zhul dispatches his Adviser Yara, his mistreated sidekick Otli and the great General Goroth to capture Conan.

Unbeknown to Conan (Ralph Moeller), who has just finished a hunt, Conan is accosted by a girl, Tamira, who begs off half his kill for her starving Village. While she is distracting him, some other villagers steal the rest of the kill. She then offers to prepare Conan a meal. A guest at his own meal he says. Dinner over, Gobe (Mickey Rooney) the village elder and Conan converse, Hissar Zhul we learn, rules all the lands from Shem to Cimmeria, and was responsible for raiding Conan's Village and kidnapping him as a child.

The army that Hissar Zhul sent, attacks the village but is repulsed by Conan but vow to return. Two day's later they do return and raze the village entirely to the ground. Capturing the girl and Conan, Yara lies to Goroth that the Barbarian they captured is not Conan and proceeds to sell him to a gladiatorial arena. This would make the second time in Conan's life which he is a Gladiator.

While awaiting his first day as a gladiator he comes to know, Zzeben the Mute and Vulkar, two other gladiators, imploring them to rise up against their captors and be free men. The Following day Conan faces Vulkar in the ring and they stage their escape along with Zzeben. In the woods, the three escaped gladiators plan to rescue Tamira, but not knowing where she is aren't sure how to go about it. They are then approached by Otli, who promises to guide Conan to her in exchange for Conan's help in him becoming a free man. Otli and Conan set off alone, but Zzeben silently implores Vulkar to follow them anyway.

Otli and Conan set off, and Conan quickly feels the urge to climb a hill. Otli says there's no reason to, but Conan goes anyway, where he finds a crypt and retrieves the Sword which Hissar Zhul saw in his dreams. The creature which formerly owned the sword objects to Conan's grave robbing and attacks. Conan defeats the creature, Otli says this is exactly why he didn't want to go in the cave.. why he hates caves in fact.. but Conan says he had to, was drawn to the cave by some force, The sword begins to glow, and we encounter Crom (Richard Burton*) who is unlike any other version of Crom.. in that he seems to be a caring and all around nice sort of chap for a disembodied floating head. He explains his grand purpose for Conan, that the sword is a magic sword from Atlantis which its conan's destiny to use to right wrongs in the world.


Next: Episode 2 The Heart of the Elephant part 2

*The image of Crom's face is reused stock footage of Burton, who died nearly 14 years before this program was made, I don't know who provided the voice.